The Making of an Army Wife

Oprah is always saying that she has the best job in the world, but I disagree. I think that I have the best job in the world. I teach or according to Harry Wong I inspire. I look forward to Monday mornings, actually I think that Mondays are the easiest days for me to wake up. I currently work with a high population of students whose parent or parents are in the military. It has been such a blessing for me. I have the opportunity to be the person that gives them a hug when they miss their mommy or their daddy because they are deployed, or I get to be the reason they call their parents down range. I had one student last week tell me, "We are going to have to call my daddy so that I can tell him that I am the MVP! He is going to be so excited and proud of me!" How could you not love your job? Teaching is a huge part of my life; I have wanted to be a teacher since the first day of Kindergarten (no joke), and I am so happy that I can teach and that I have had the opportunity to meet so many students. I am also happy that many of them are joining facebook because now I get to hear about their lives after we leave or PCS (permanent change of station). Although I love my job it does make me stick out from other wives. We had an FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting a couple months ago they were talking to us about the deployment and what we were going to do with our children in case something bad were to happen to us. The 1SGT asked, "Raise your hand if you have a child." I was the only hand not raised in a group of 20 women. Many of which were younger than I am. Most wives don't work, they stay at home and raise their families. It makes it hard to bond with the other wives. Many of the wives don't seem to think that we have much in common or they are only talking about school with me. Many of the wives in the company go out together, go play at the park together, etc. I never get those kind of invitations. I want to be able to stay home and raise my babies when my husband and I start a family, but most of them would never know because I don't fit in to their group now. Like I said, I love my job, but if I was looking at it from just an Army wife stand point I'm sure it holds me back from fitting into the club.

My husband and I have known each other for 11 years now. We met in high school. He was one of the new freshmen. He came to our school from California. He was an athlete and very nice. We became friends. During our junior year he and I started dating. He had a singing quartet sing three love songs to me in my Spanish 4 class on Valentine's Day. As I walked out to our common area there he was standing there with a single rose. It was so sweet. We dated for about a year, but as things go in high school we had a very dramatic break up. I mean dramatic... ring throwing (just a promise ring) and all.

We remained civil for the next year, but not very close. We didn't really start talking again until he was getting ready to join the Army. He joined right after 9-11. He had always wanted to be in the military. Once when we were dating he asked me if I would go with him to wherever he was stationed. I told him that I couldn't do that, that I needed to go to college and follow my dreams first. I am so proud of myself now. If I had followed him I would still be working on my degree. It's hard in this life to get done with school when you are getting ready to see the light, boom you PCS. Anyway, back to him joining. He decided to join the 82nd Airborne. He was excited about the challenge that the 82nd had to offer. He had a love/ hate relationship with the 82nd, and I think most soldiers do. He deployed twice from Fort Bragg and that is when our relationship became more. He went over during the invasion so the communication was not set up to what it is now so we would write letters to one another and emails. It was so rommantic. I think we got to know one another so much through those 7 months. I had developed a little crush on him but once he returned to Nevada for his leave the feelings just weren't there. He was deployed again 2 months later for 5 months. We started talking again and I fell for him again, this time when he came home I was in love. I had thrown a welcome home party for him, after a few drinks in me I went up and planted a kiss right on him in front of everyone... that is how we started. That night we talked and we both knew that this was not a relationship that we would just try out; we were in it for the long haul. We wanted to get married, we wanted a family together, we wanted to just be with one another. And so we were. We dated long distance for almost 3 years. He was stationed in Fort Bragg and I was going to school in Nevada. We saw each other about every 4 months, and it was great. It was like the love in the movies. How could you get annoyed with each other? The longest time we spent together was a month when I went out to see him. It was great! Great dates, great sex, and the appeal of the Army life... oh the uniforms! It wouldn't be until I graduated and joined him in Virginia that things would get crazy for us or maybe I mean normalized... I don't know you be the judge.

He had been living the adult life style. Getting up for PT every morning, working the odd hours that the Army demands. I had worked through college but I still went out for Thirsty Thursdays, played baseball (great drinking game) with my friends at least once a week; joining these two lives was not going to be easy. We were at two very different places. We knew that we loved each other, but we had no idea how hard this would be... I don't think anyone did.

I won't go into detail about all the horrible things that happened our first year and a half of marriage but I will say this. Your first year isn't always your honeymoon period. For us it was the year we were trying not to drown! We were trying to get to know each other's daily routines. We knew about each other's dreams, passions, goals, etc. but he had no idea how big of a neat freak I was, or how much I depended on interactions with other people, I had no idea that he was a slob (he would always do a deep clean when I would come to visit...grrr). It felt like we were climbing Mt. Everest, and it seemed like everyone had an opinion on how we should be acting or what we should be doing. It was exhausting.

I was learning that there was another woman in our marriage and she would come first a lot of the time... the Army is like another lover to your husband. She is one demanding bitch... but she can also be your best friend. Maybe we all have that love/ hate relationship with the Army. Once you get used to her and all the baggage that goes along with her you end up loving her. I think if my husband came home and told me he wanted to get out; I would be upset. I love the life we are getting to live, the people we meet, the places we go, the pride I have for this country and the soldiers that make up the military. The Army has helped me live a far more exciting life than I could have pictured for myself.

My husband and I have been married now for 2 years. Although I am not Claudia Joy on Army Wives I do feel like I have become an Army Wife that I am proud of. I have not lost myself if anything the Army has helped me find myself and has expanded my views about life... I will say that there is no easy recipe in becoming an Army wife some have a pretty easy time and some get out quick. I'd like to think that I am doing a pretty good job. I am proud to add the title of Army Wife to my list of accomplishments.

The Beginning

My mom suggested that I should start this blog to talk about my life as an Army wife, so here it is. My blog as an Army wife. I will say this in the beginning I am not writing this blog and expecting to sum up the life of an Army wife. I am writing this blog to share about my life as an Army wife. During this next year, my husband and I will be going through a big change like many Army families my husband is leaving for his third deployment to Iraq. I am writing this blog to give a voice to the family that is left behind, the family that loves and supports from a far, the ones that hooah it up (as I like to call it)!

Mom thanks for the advice... I hope you enjoy reading it!